What next for tech’s top leaders?

Ellison is one of the richest people in the world, so although we are convinced that heading up Oracle is fun, he must be considering a metaphorical move to Eastbourne.

With Oracle's desire to board and take over things (see Peoplesoft), that beard, and a predilection for flashy blades, boats and a life on the open seas, he has pirate written all over him. These hearty retirement plans could also create gainful employment for another tech leader. After all, every pirate needs something small and beaky to act as a parrot and sit on his shoulder... Which certainly does not lead us to...

Bill Gates

Of course, Microsoft's Bill Gates continues to enjoy his retirement so he probably has plans in place already. Having said that, we saw Bill in some adverts recently and specifically request that he does not pursue either of these two careers: Stand up comedian or shoe consultant.

Maybe you could get an allotment Bill, or write a book? Titles are normally a great place to start, and Apples are not the only fruit' has a lovely ring about it. You have such dulcet tones that you might even get to narrate the audio book version as well - that should help you pay for your heating next winter.

And just think of the joy you will bring to all those lucky punters listening to it on their Zunes, erm, iPods.

Steve Jobs

Talk of iPods has to bring us to Steve Jobs, the boss at Apple and flashy cartoon company, Pixar - both of which have grabbed the hearts of consumers from all ages.

Some might say that with a history of hits including Shrek and the iPhone he has us in his spell with every release and pronouncement he makes. Could he use this power to transform himself into a superhero? The all-powerful and enigmatic i? Hmm, probably not. Unless, that is, he is currently on Krypton - which would certainly go some way towards explaining his recent mysterious absences. Otherwise we recommend this as a post-retirement moniker: Steve. iJobs(eek).