Week in review: Super fast broadband and wireless for everyone

Never mind Cameron vs Boris, the most interesting spat of the week is the increasingly bad-tempered feud between Oracle and HP. Back in the real world, normal people have 100Mbps broadband and Wi-Fi on the London Underground to look forward to.

Like a Virgin, for the very first time

Virgin Media has announced its upcoming 100Mbps super fast broadband service, which will immediately excite anyone who downloads gigabytes upon gigabytes of pirated movies and pornography. BT has criticised the high pricing of Virgin's service. This seems a little self-serving as others have pointed out a less than rosy history for Virgin when it comes to customer service.

It's a series of tubes

While Boris Johnson, the Conservative Mayor of London, has been ticking off the rest of his Tory colleagues, his plans for trialling Wi-Fi internet access on the London Underground have been humming along. The ticket hall and the Northern and Bakerloo line platforms at Charing Cross station will be covered by a BT Openzone hotspot from next week for seven days.

The Charing Cross trial won't provide internet access inside the trains themselves. Although omnipresent internet access on the Tube is definitely a good thing, if access is extended to train carriages in future, hopefully VoIP calls won't be allowed. Travelling on the underground during rush hour is unpleasant enough without a carriage full of morons bellowing down their phones.

Thief!

Larry Ellison, Oracle's chief executive, has been outspoken in his criticism of HP's decision to dismiss his friend Mark Hurd from his position as HP's CEO. Ellison went so far as to hire Hurd, a move that was initially opposed by HP, but later resolved.

The bad blood between Oracle and HP looks set to deepen, as Ellison has now accused HP's new CEO, Leo Apotheker, of masterminding the theft of Oracle intellectual property when he was head of Oracle rival SAP.

Clearly this increasing rivalry between HP and Oracle can only be settled in a civilised and dignified manner. A round of pugilistic fisticuffs in the playground, behind the bike shed, after school. No hair pulling or scratching allowed obviously.